The Fanfiction I Couldn't Think of a Title for...
by Destiny Dingle
Summary: Quinn tries to Help Andrea with fashion. Daria opens up to Tom.


I dont own Daria or its characters MTV does blah blah blah I wonder if its possible to get really rich, buy out daria, then you dont have to make the disclaimer ever! muahahahahaha  
This is my third posted fanfic so be absolutely brutal so that I can crawl into my little corner and never post any again. *snif snif* Can you believe it I only have three? Also I'd like to say that if any of the characters in my story say "eww" about something like homosexuality please note that its not the way I feel and that the person saying it is probably one of the really stupid people. For example Tiffany says eww in this story about special ed students. I'm not Tiffany, I don't have anything in common with Tiffany except that we're both female humans or at least thats what I'm gonna say until I control your puny planet muahahahahaha! Also if I make up words forgive me its just easier than finding the actual word. Okay please read and enjoy!  
  
  
(open: Daria and Jane are walking thorugh the school hallway looking upward.)  
Daria: wow, there are a lot of cracks in the ceiling.  
Jane: (points upward) look a donkey   
(Daria stops Jane. They both look ahead. The fashion club is crowded around Andrea giving out fashion advice. Daria and Jane walk around the group to their lockers which just happen to be in listening distance.)  
Jane: That was close to being a confrontation with the fashion club while they're trying to conform. (Daria and Jane shudder. Pan to the Fashion club and Andrea. In the background Daria and Jane are taking their time getting their books so that they can listen in.)  
Sandi: Since you're in desperate need of fashion advice...  
Andrea: (looks around) I'm surrounded.  
Sandi: (ignoring her) ... we're going to help you as our yearly good deed.  
Andrea: (sarcastically) Wow, a good deed every year? You must be exhausted.  
Stacey: Not yet this is the first year we're doing it.  
Quinn: If we helped the...uh... "fashionably challenged" more than once a year we wouldn't be as special.  
Tiffany: ewww like those kids in that class?  
Quinn: No, not like that.  
Sandi: First off, what's your favorite item of clothing?  
Andrea: My cape. Why?  
Sandi: Current style analysis. (Andrea gets a "huh?" look on her face)  
Quinn: How come you never wear it?  
Andrea: I save it for special occasions.  
Stacey: like for dates?  
Tiffany: How many dates could she possibly go on?  
Andrea: (scowls) Can I go now?  
Quinn: We haven't helped you yet!  
Andrea: I don't want your help. (she pushes them away and walks off)  
Sandi: wait... (Andrea ignores them)  
Stacey: (yelling after Andrea) Wear less eyeliner! (the Fashion club all look at her) It's just advice.  
Tiffany: good deed accomplished...  
Quinn: I don't think that counts.  
Sandi: Well we tried. It's the thought that counts right?  
Stacey and Tiffany: Right.  
Quinn: whatev...  
  
(cut to Daria and Jane watching Mystic Spiral play at McGrundy's pub)  
Jane: You would think with time their music would improve.  
Daria: Is this a special occasion?  
Jane: No, why?   
(Daria points to Andrea who's wearing her cape. Just so you know its a beautiful black cape. It looks soft heh heh)  
Jane: I don't want to know. (They direct their attention to the band while sneaking occasional glances at Andrea) I changed my mind, I really want to know.  
Daria: yeah. (They approach Andrea. She see's them out of the corner of her eye. She starts to walk away but then stops)  
Andrea: (to herself) Please make it be about boot laces. (to Daria and Jane) What do you want?  
Daria: We were just headed to the bathroom. (She points to somewhere behind Andrea.)  
Jane: But since you initiated conversation... We were wondering why you consider McGrundy's and Mystic Spiral a special occasion.  
Andrea: Its impolite to eaves drop.  
Daria: Its not like we could help it. the fashion club cornered you right by our lockers.  
Andrea: Why haven't you killed your (finger quotes) "cousin" yet?  
Daria: I'm not homocidal.  
Andrea: That's no excuse. (Daria and Andrea smirk)  
Jane: Okay back to why my brother's band makes a special occasion...  
Andrea: Which one's your brother?  
Jane: (points) that one.  
Andrea: Which one? The cute one? (She looks at Jane and then at Trent) I guess I can see it from the hair.  
Daria: The cute one?  
Andrea: (holding back from blushing) I have the right to remain silent.  
Jane: (to Daria) Looks like you're not the only one. (She elbows Daria in the stomach)  
Daria: ow, that hurts  
Andrea: (smirks) Daria?  
Daria: Let's not forget about you dressing up for him.  
Andrea: I was just hoping he'd notice me. Hey Jane we should hang out more often...  
Jane: It doesn't work, Daria's tried many times (Daria elbows Jane in the stomach) ow that does hurt  
Daria: I did not try...  
Jane: Which is why you never got him.  
Andrea: Am I done being interrogated yet?  
Jane: Yeah sure (Andrea leaves. Daria and Jane's attention is again focussed on the band) You'd think with time their music would improve.  
Daria: You already said that.  
Jane: I know, but wouldn't you think that with time they'd improve? (Daria shrugs)  
  
(cut to breakfast at Daria's house. Jakes reading the paper er at least doing the crossword puzzle and Quinn's talking as usual)  
Quinn: Then she said she didn't want any help and the rest of the fashion club just gave up on her.  
Helen: I'm sorry dear , but maybe she's happy the way she is.  
Quinn: Mom, she wears all black, how happy could she be?  
Daria: I think Dad's depressed too, he only uses black pen.  
Jake: (hears his name) uh sure kiddo here (He hands Daria money. She pauses then grabs for the money , but its intercepted by Helen)  
Helen: Don't even get me started on your father. (pause) so Quinn are you going to find a new person to help with fashion?  
Quinn: As if! It was hard enough to pick her out of everyone in school.  
Daria: I hear some people like their individuality.  
Quinn: Please, individuality is just a word used by unpopular people to make an excuse for why they're unpopular.  
Helen: (scoldingly) Quinn...  
Quinn: what? (Helen's phone rings)  
Helen: Oh Hiii Eric... what? Oh no (she gets up and walks away)  
  
(cut to Daria and Tom watching sick sad world in mute at his house)  
Tom: So, what no crisis?  
Daria: What?  
Tom: It's been a while since your last family or school related problem.  
Daria: Do I complain to much?  
Tom: No, life's just less interesting without problems. (pause) It's me isn't it?  
Daria: What? no.  
Tom: Your problem is me isn't it? Thats why you haven't told me. What is it? Do I smell? (He lifts up his arms and smells underneath)  
Daria: (grins) Its not you.  
Tom: Are you sure?  
Daria: (pretends to think) Hmm... yep I'm sure.  
Tom: (hugs her) God I love you. (Daria pushes him away and stands up shockedly)  
Daria: You what?  
Tom: (panickedly) I didn't mean that.  
Daria: You didn't?  
Tom: Did you want me to?  
Daria: (pause) no... (she sits back down) Now I have a problem.  
Tom: Yeah?  
Daria: My hands won't stop shaking.  
Tom: Sorry  
Daria: No, I'm sorry that I freaked out.  
Tom: You had every right to.  
Daria: It's funny, no ones ever said that to me and meant it.  
Tom: You're famil-... er parents love you. And I'm sure you love them too.  
Daria: Don't try and cheer me up...please.  
Tom: Oh c'mon, imagine how devastated they'd be if you died or you'd be if they died.  
Daria: Do you know how many fan fictions are based on that? I don't need to imagine it especially through the eyes of this crummy author. (Daria is suddenly dressed in a pink little bo peep costume.) Plus that doesn't mean they love me. (Tom laughs) what? (She realizes what she's wearing) aw crap... This author is the best! (She's in her normal clothes) Hey, she shined my shoes, and look (reaches into her pocket and pulls out money) a hundred bucks.  
Tom: You know, if I weren't dating you I'd totally ask this author out.  
Daria: Tom... (a pile of money appears next to Tom)  
Tom: How do you think I got to be so wealthy? Through hard work and wise investments? HA! (Daria shakes her head in disapproval)  
  
(cut to Quinn following Andrea in the school hallway{okay so this one part isn't in Chronological order but I had to make the Tom thing earlier})  
Quinn: Why won't you let me help you?  
Andrea: I don't need help.  
Quinn: You know lots of girls would kill to be in your position.  
Andrea: I don't conform. This might hard to believe but some people like their individuality.  
Quinn: Yeah, thats what Daria said.  
Andrea: (Hides a smirk) Daria's smart  
Quinn: Duh! She's, like, a brain.  
Andrea: Wrong smart.  
(Quinn looks confused)  
  
(cut to Quinn in her living room with a dictionary. Daria walks by)  
Daria: a book?  
Quinn: the dictionary  
Daria: oh  
Quinn: I'm looking up the word smart. (Daria smiles and begins to say something) Don't say it.  
Daria: Say what?  
Quinn: Whatever mean comment you were going to make about me not being smart. (pause) Dammit its not in here. Daria, do you know another definition for smart?  
Daria: I could go into detail about people smart, book smart...  
Quinn: (interupting) Ohhhh, different kinds of smart, riiiight...  
Daria: (mimicking Quinn) Yeeeaaah...  
Quinn: Gotcha (she puts the dictionary down, picks up a book, and starts reading)  
Daria: Okay, now's the time to say "a book?"  
Quinn: Geez Daria, I'm not as dumb as you think.  
  
(cut to Tom alone dialing a phone number. Splitscreen. Jane picks up while sculpting)  
Jane: Yo  
Tom: Hey Jane, you're my friend right?  
Jane: If you must label me...  
Tom: Good, 'cause I need to talk to you about something.  
Jane: Well it better be on this phone call and not in person, I'm beginning a new statue with gummy bear coating and I don't want you ruining them again.  
Tom: Of course on this call, your bears are safe.  
Jane: Did you and Daria have a fight?  
Tom: Why would you think that?  
Jane: Because you called me and not her.  
Tom: We didn't have a fight.  
Jane: But it is about Daria?  
Tom: yes  
Jane: I'm not an expert on Daria...  
Tom: You are more so than my other friends.  
Jane: You have other friends?(Tom scowls) hmm... okay just state the problem and we'll get to billing later.  
Tom: Billing?  
Jane: A Daria expert has gotta have a full fridge. Now the problem...  
Tom: okay... she sort of opened up and showed emotion.\  
Jane: What kind of emotion?  
Tom: sadness  
Jane: (sarcastically) That's a shock.  
Tom: She told me that no one had ever said they loved her and meant it. I'm sure that Helen and Jake love her.  
Jane: So the problem is that you don't want her to be sad.  
Tom: I don't want her to be sad but thats not really the problem.   
Jane: The problem isn't that she opened up to you is it?  
Tom: No, Its great that she did that, she's great. But um...  
Jane: Then what's the problem?!?!  
Tom: You didn't let me finish my "but um..." I sort of accidentally told her I loved her.  
Jane: (laughs) did she freak?  
Tom: yeah  
Jane: Why was she sad?  
Tom: It was a "You're a kick ass person" I love you not a "let's get married" I love you. So I explained and I think it saddened her. She said she didn't want me to mean it but the way she acted...  
Jane:...it seemed otherwise.  
Tom:What should I do?  
Jane: I dunno. You're screwed.  
Tom: You can forget your payment.  
Jane: just... (looks at the tv. Its got some cheesy romantic tv show on it muted with captions. She reads outloud to Tom)..."do what your heart tells you" (she wrinkles her nose in disgust at that statement)  
Tom: um okay...  
Jane: I want a fridge load of groceries.  
Tom: Just comment the author.  
Jane: author?  
Tom: of this fan fiction.  
Jane: um... This fanfiction's author is (imitating Tony the Tiger) Grrrrrr-eat.  
Tom: (smirks) Okay, Bye Tony (they hang up. Fullscreen on Jane. Trent walks to her room)  
Trent: Janey did you go grocery shopping? The fridge is packed.  
Jane: uh... yeah  
Trent: cool  
  
(cut to the fashion club at Stacey's house playing Yahtzee, 'cause ya know, Stacey's the kind of person who'd begin a game of Yahtzee during a fashion club meeting heh)  
Quinn: ...and then she turned me down again saying she didn't want my help.  
Sandi: Oh Quinn, I'm so embarrassed for you.  
Tiffany: Yeah, you should just give up.  
Sandi: Its okay that you failed to help her.  
Quinn: I don't want to give up!  
Sandi: Quinn, don't you think she'll just turn you down again? Don't make yourself look like a fool.  
Quinn: I'm not a fool, I won't fail, I won't quit, and I'm going to get her to accept my help.  
Stacey: (yelling) Yahtzee!!!!!!!! (They all look at her)  
(cut to Quinn sneaking into Daria's room. She picks up Daria's mattress and takes a book out from underneath with the word "diary" on it crossed off. Underneath the word "Diary" is the word "Journal" also crossed off. Underneath "journal" are the words "Captain's log". She begins to read)  
  
(cut to Daria and Tom sitting on Tom's roof at night looking at the moon and the stars. Tom's roof is really high up because he has a really big house tee hee)  
Daria: Did I ever mention that I'm afraid of heights?  
Tom: I asked you if you were afraid of heights before we went up here and you said no.  
Daria: Well, I just realized that I am.  
Tom: We can get down if you want, but if you decide to stay I promise not to let you tumble downward and splat on the ground.  
Daria: That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me.  
Tom: Now I'll have to top it. (He takes her hand and looks into her eyes)  
Daria: This ought to be good.  
Tom: (blushes) Don't say that you'll make me mess up.  
Daria: That would be entertaining.  
Tom: Sorry I want this to be sweet not entertaining.  
Daria: I'm just saying it'll be good either way. (There's silence) okay you can begin your sweetness.  
Tom: Right... (he looks deeply into her eyes again) You are the coolest person I've ever met, and you're the best girlfriend in the world... (Daria blushes)... and I'm hopelessly and deeply in like with you.  
(Daria hugs him the takes his hand and looks deeply into his eyes)  
Daria: I'm in like with you too. (he smiles) I'd say more but you've had all day to practice and I've only had a few seconds.  
Tom: I understand. (They hug and kiss and other mushy stuff, but I've made sure that they don't rub noses or any other really nauseating things like that)  
  
(cut to Quinn approaching Andrea at McGrundy's)  
Quinn: Hey Andrea  
Andrea: What're you doing here?  
Quinn: I did a little research...  
Andrea: Research?  
Quinn: Okay, okay... I went through Daria's diary, and I found out that you've got a thing for Jane's brother and that you'd probably be here at this gig.  
Andrea: If I tell Daria that you read her diary will she kill you?  
Quinn: Probably, but you won't tell Daria.  
Andrea: Oh no?  
Quinn: No, because I'm going to help you snag that lead singer.  
Andrea: You are?  
Quinn: No one knows how to get a guy to like you a guy better than me.  
Andrea: Then you get your good deed and get to feel good about yourself?  
Quinn: basically  
Andrea: I wouldn't give you the satisfaction.  
Quinn: Fine, you can be one of those girls who pathetically waits around for a guy to come to her when he never will.  
Andrea: I'm not pathetic. (sighs) Fine, I'll accept your help.  
Quinn: Excellent. Okay now we have to get him to notice you then when he does the rest is up to your winning personality.  
Andrea: This requires a winning personality?  
Quinn: Okay switch shoes with me.  
Andrea: what?  
Quinn: I'm wearing platforms... the taller you look the more noticeable you'll be.  
Andrea: Whatever... (she takes off her shoes and puts on Quinn's and gets a lot taller) I hope I don't have to walk in these.  
Quinn: You can take them off as soon as he notices you. hmm... there's more light over there (points) lets go!  
(Andrea stumble in the direction Quinn pointed to)  
Andrea: There's no way that this is gonna work.  
Quinn: Now make eye contact for five seconds.  
Andrea: In order to make eye contact doesn't he have to be looking at me too.  
Quinn: He is... (Andrea looks at the stage and Trent is actually looking at her while singing icebox woman.) one, two, three, four, five.  
Andrea: (looks at Quinn surprised) How did you do that?  
Quinn: I didn't, you did. Oh he's looking down, quick take off the shoes. (Andrea puts her regular shoes back on) Now that you've gotten shorter you've almost disappeared mysteriously.  
(Mystic Spiral finishes playing. Trent does the usual "we might change the name" speech. The he gets off the stage and looks around. He stops when he sees Andrea.)  
Quinn: Your welcome. (she leaves)  
Trent: hey  
Andrea: hey...  
Trent: You looked a lot taller from the stage. (he then realizes that was a stupid thing to say) er... I didn't think it possible but you're even more stunning close up.  
Andrea: (supresses a blush) thanks.  
  
(cut to the Morgandorffer home. Jake's watching tv, Helen's on her cell phone, Quinn's on the house phone.)  
Quinn: Of course I helped her I said I would. (pause) What do you mean you won the bet? (pause) Sandi and Tiffany were betting against me? oooooooooh!  
(Helen hangs up her phone as Daria enters the house smiling)  
Helen: Oh Hi Daria! You're smiling!  
Daria: (covers her mouth with her hand) No I'm not.   
Helen: (Smiles) really?  
Daria: (Takes her hand off her unsmiling mouth) I'm not smiling (she begins to smile again and covers her mouth with her hand. muffled) I'm going to go to bed now.  
Helen: Goodnight honey.   
Daria: (Heads up the stairs) G'night.  
Helen: I love you.  
Daria:(stops) I know, me too.  
(in Daria's room... Daria lifts up her mattress and takes out her diary and a pen. She opens to the last page she had written in. Pressed in between the pages is a strand of hair. Orange, shiny, and as bouncy as one strand of hair can get. She picks it um and looks at it for a while)  
Daria: Quinn...  
  
THE END  
  
  
End credits song hmmm.... Dammit I'm drawing a blank. Fine then you stupid non working brain think of a song that has nothing to do with the story at all like usual. oooh "Teenage dirtbag" by whetus  
  
"Her name is Noelle.  
I have a dream about her.  
She rings my bell.  
I've got gym class in half an hour.  
Oh how she rocks  
in Keds and tube socks.  
But she doesn't know who I am  
and she doesn't give a damn about me.  
'Cause I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby  
yeah I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby  
listen to Iron Maiden baby with me  
oooooooooooh"  
YAY thats such a sweet song hehe.  
  
I'm sorry if I write characters who blush more than the average person but I blush more than they do so I'm used to it. Thanks for reading it please review so that you can crush all my hopes and dreams and send me into a hospital. teeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee 


End file.
